"For Such a Time as This"

Hhmmm...is it bad that I'm bummed that my nurse just called and said she won't be coming today?  Yes...no tortuous medical procedures for me today.  Now THAT I won't miss!  I must get out more!  Hey...tomorrow is my birthday...I will get to go out to lunch!  Woo hoo!  I am soo looking forward to it!  I hope you all can come so I can thank you in person for all your support and prayers for the past few weeks/months. 
Chris and I have had so many people reach out to us that have Lyme Disease, had Lyme,  know something about Lyme Disease or just want to help us.  It really is heart warming.  I just want to sit down with each person and pick their brain!  I hope I get the chance to do that!  I'm hoping I can get started tomorrow...Happy Birthday to me!  This disease is a roller coaster ride.  My days are up and down.  I'm so thankful I have such a supportive family and great friends!  Since I am pretty much anchored to my couch, I obviously don't get to church on Sundays.  My friend, Ginger, let me know about 12Stone Church's online sermon yesterday.  I quickly tuned in!  It was perfect!  And of course just what I needed in that moment.  God sure has good timing!  The scripture was Esther 4:11-14. It discusses the choice we make between seeing the hand of God in our circumstances in life and seeing things as merely coincidence.  Esther proved to have a godly and teachable spirit that also showed great strength and willing obedience. Esther’s humility was markedly different from those around her, and this caused her to be elevated into the position of queen. She shows us that remaining respectful and humble, even in difficult if not humanly impossible circumstances, often sets us up to be the vessel of untold blessing for both ourselves and others. We would do well to emulate her godly attitudes in all areas of life, but especially in trials. Not once is there a complaint or bad attitude exposed in the writing. Many times we read she won the "favor" of those around her. Such favor is what ultimately saved her people. We can be granted such favor as we accept even unfair persecution and follow Esther’s example of maintaining a positive attitude, coupled with humility and the determination to lean on God. Who knows but that God put us in such a position, for just such a time as this?  We are all here to serve a purpose.  We just don't when or what it is.  That's why we should never ask "why me?" no matter how much we want to.  These events over the past 6 months could be the reason why I'm here...to find the answer...and to educate people.  Who knows.  Or maybe not.  It could be a stepping stone to something else.  All I know is that I will keep praying and trying to hear God's words and try to follow the path he carves out for me.  So thanks Ginger for being my coach on Sunday and leading me to that wonderful sermon that I needed!
So today has been a pretty icky day.  I feel bad so I'm going to cut this short although I have more I wanted to say.  I will try to catch up tomorrow.  I'm going to head to bed early tonight since tomorrow will be a big day!  I'm looking forward to it.  If you can, please come out.  No need to stay the whole time if your schedule doesn't allow for it...just drop by and say hello. We would love to see you!

Blessings!

Here's to You, Happy Feet!

It's a beautiful Saturday morning here in Georgia!  About a cool 70 degrees and sunny!  I think I might open a few windows and let the stank out!  Ahhh yes...that's nice.  Today is June 2nd which means we have officially entered into Birthday week.  It's a tradition in our family to celebrate not just the day but the week.  Well it's a tradition between me and my mom!  Her birthday just passed.  She spent her birthday week in Charleston and Myrtle Beach with daddy.  Not bad at all!  Speaking of my parents, they both came over last night since Chris had to go to work.  Dad hung up all the clean laundry that my wonderful husband worked sooo hard on for the past 2 days!  Yes there was a LOT!  Then daddy vacuumed the house...quite thoroughly.  He moved everything...even the recliner and the area rug in the living room.  Oh yeah, and he tore the couch apart and vacuumed IT.  Then he completely cleaned out the vacuum.  It had to be filthy after that workout!  Then they bathed the baby and wore him plum out he went right to sleep when his head hit the pillow!  Praise God!  :)  Then they made me a warm foot bath for my terribly aching feet.  Ahhhh...I heart my mommy and daddy! Mom spent the night and most of the morning here.  Dad will be back tonight.  I have an awesome family!
As I was laying in bed last night I was thinking about my next blog.  I really need to have a little recorder next to the bed as I do some of my best writing in my head at night. Well I think it's good.  You know how when you're half asleep and your thoughts seem so logical and rational as you drift off to sleep.  Then when you wake up and recall those thoughts you're like what was I thinking?!?!  No, no I can't march into the school and slap that little boy for being mean to my baby boy!  Clearly my synapsis weren't firing correctly!  Ya that sometimes happens to me too...quite often.  But sometimes I lay in bed wide awake and come up with some good ideas but my body is just too exhausted to get up and write them down.  Oh well.  I do remember thinking how when I get up in the morning Chris always asks me how I am.  I always answer, "fine".  He knows I'm lying of course.  I just get tired of complaining, of explaining the aches.  He eventually gets it out of me other ways.  He is the smartest man alive you know.  Anyhow, I thought I hate to be here, blogging about negative things.  I don't want to bring people down.  I always want to be positive.  But then I thought if I do that who am I helping??? Me?? Well not really...I'll just need to see an actual therapist instead of just blogging.  :)  You???  Nooooo, because then am I really educating you on this disease?  Am I giving you the tools to understand and the ability to pass on this information to someone who may desperately need it?  I have heard from a few people that have read this blog already who have lost loved ones that think it may have been due to undiagnosed Lyme Disease.  That truly breaks my heart.  I know that God never gives us more than we can handle.  Even Chris said to me the other day, "I wonder if this was all God's plan.  My change in careers...to become a Respiratory Therapist...to be in the medical field...to marry you...all so that when this time came I would be here to help you."  Ahhh yes.  I think he is right!  And he is indeed the man God wants him to be I am sure!  He is very, very good to me!
So I don't want you to think I get on here just to complain.  I get on here to blog for my sanity, to share my life, in hopes that I will touch someone's life.  I feel like it is our job now to tell people about Lyme Disease.  Noone told us about it.  We had to find it ourselves.  Not even one doctor NOT ONE, ever mentioned it!  Lyme needs a voice.  I can be loud. Just ask my kids. So I will always be honest here.  Because who knows who reads this?  It could be that one person who has the same symptoms I do who had no idea about Lyme Disease just like me.
So this is me today.  I had read online about this symptom in Lyme that some people have.  It seemed that it occurred more in people that had this disease for several years.  I was hopeful it wouldn't affect me.  Oh grasshopper, how wrong you were!  The soles of my feet are on fire and they hurt, hurt, hurt.  It hurts to walk.  So I walk on my tippy toes.  Which in turn makes my calves hurt.  Sigh.  I'm thinking maybe it's from all the toxins in my body???  The doc says that as the spirochetes are killed off by the antibiotic they will release toxins.  This is why it is important to detox during treatment.  I am taking supplement and drinking lots of water with fresh lime slices in it to help with it.  I'm hoping Epsom salt baths will help too.  Anyone with any detox ideas feel free to suggest away!  Other than that, that is the only NEW symptom I guess.  I still have the headache, stomach is just awful, total body aches, fatigue, sore throat, chest pain, shortness of breath, and Lord don't touch me!  It feels like my nerves are on the OUTSIDE of my body.  Like long hairs and when you touch me, you're grabbing these fine hairs and pulling them out by the roots!  Oh I hate that!  This has to be one of the worst symptoms!  Chris doesn't quite understand it.  I hate it because I just want to cuddle up to him because I feel bad but my body just won't let me.  Aarrgghhh.  So that's me today!
Other than that...Brayden is his usual wild self!  Kaitlin is visiting the other half of her family in Wisconsin.  We miss her although I'm sure she is having fun!
Chris and I apparently are undercover farmers!  We put in 5 raised beds this spring.  We collected our first harvest this week!  Oh yes we did!  Two green peppers, about 15 green beans and 10 peas!  Enough for a FEAST!  There are lots of tomatoes.  I can't wait until they ripen so we can have toasted tomato sandwiches.  Yummmmmy!  The cucumbers are coming along...almost there.  The cauliflower is quite tall but no sign of anything yet.  Interesting.  We also have carrots, green onions, lettuce, red peppers and jalapenos.  Everything for the makings of a nice salsa!
Back to my birthday...:)  We are planning on having a luncheoun celebration at the On the Border on Pleasant Hill Road at 11am on Tuesday, June 5th.  If you're around, we would love to see you and thank you in person for your support, prayers, and well wishes! 
Here's a link to our Facebook Group Page if you haven't been there yet...

http://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/274086509356429/

And our Fundraiser which ends on my Birthday....
http://www.giveforward.com/helpjenfightlymedisease

Thanks for the prayers!

I Wanna Do Laundry!!

Well I received my second "care" package today (medical supplies).  I also feel like real doo doo - yes as opposed to fake!  So I guess this is all real.  Blah.  I feel like a kid trapped in an 80 year old body.  You know when you have the flu you can usually count the days until you will feel better.  This morning I thought, Hhmm when will that day be?  I'm only feeling worse. I don't have ANY energy.  Everything wears me out.  I hurt from head to toe.  I don't want to be touched at all.  It just hurts too much. I feel like I can't breathe. I did manage to take a shower today!  Yea me...and yea Chris!  Haha  Poor Chrissy...he has taken over most household duties.  Well all I guess...not most.  Today he was doing laundry.  Oh how I hate to see that.  He said there seems to have been a role reversal in our marriage.  Awwww.  All I can manage to do is to get out of bed, sit on the couch, and go back to bed.  Exciting!  I hate not being able to participate in anything.  I love being a mom and a wife.  I hate being a couch potato.  I keep telling myself this is only temporary.  Lord, let it be true! 
 Since I don't get out much I'm always happy to see people!  Mom comes over often which we all LOVE! It gives Chris a break from running around playing chase. Rob, our bestest friend, has been over a couple times this week.  He's like part of the family, so it's good to just have him hanging around. He makes me laugh! 
Speaking of laughs, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden!  Yesterday, he was in his playroom which is within our sight.  Chris and I were talking and all of a sudden I look up and he is standing, yes standing, on our little bistro table.  Chris grabbed the camera and took his picture.  He's such a little ham, he just stood there and posed!  He is quite entertaining.  Who needs a TV when you have him around?!?!
Today I received my first Humana statement in the mail since I started treatment.  The only thing that is on this statement is the initial Lyme testing.  Almost $1300 for the bloodwork at the lab!  Geeeeeeez!  I can only imagine what my little care packages will cost us...plus my nurse????  Not looking forward to those bills.  Sigh. 
Well I'm pretty tired so I will cut this short tonight.  Thank you all for your well wishes and continued support.  If you haven't already, please check out our group page as Chris will have updates there as well.  Here is the link...  http://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/274086509356429/

Blessings!

LYME SHLYME

Since May is Lyme Disease Awareness Month, I thought I would share some information on Lyme, itself.  Prepare to be amazed!


WHAT IS LYME?


Lyme is an infectious disease caused by the spirochete, Borrelia burgdorferi (Bb).  It results from a tick bite.  Ticks are also known to carry other parasites.  Along with Lyme disease, ticks can cause other co-infections such as Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis and Bartonella.  Symptoms for these infections are quite similar to Lyme itself. Lyme is diagnosed mostly on a clinical basis, because lab tests are not 100% reliable and tend to show many false negatives....especially in patients with Chronic Lyme - infected with Lyme for more than 6 months. Basically Lyme suppresses the immune system and creates havoc in every body system.  The longer you have Lyme - undiagnosed - the more symptoms you will see...especially neurological. 


DIAGNOSING LYME


The diagnosis of Lyme is mainly a clinical one as lab tests are highly insensitive and the timing has to be just right.  If you are bitten by a tick, sometimes a bulls eye rash will appear.  But this occurs in less than 50% of people.  It may occur anywhere from 4 days to several weeks after the bite, IF it happens at all.  If it does, it is important that you seek medical attention and receive antibiotics!  Do not wait for test results to confirm the diagnosis because blood tests (ELISA, western blot, etc) do not usually show positive results for several weeks after the tick bite occurred.  You should not delay treatment as this is the time when the success rate is the highest.
Lyme Disease mimics many other diseases like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Multiple Sclerosis, Alzheimer's, Rheumatoid Arthritis and many more.  All these conditions have similar symptoms like fever, malaise, fatigue, headache, muscle aches and joint pain.  Thus the reason so many people are misdiagnosed before ever even being tested for Lyme Disease.


TESTING FOR LYME


This is where things get kind of rocky.  A regular physician will order a typical Lyme test which will consist of an ELISA blood test.  Based on this test result, testing will either continue or stop at the lab.  If the ELISA is negative, all testing stops.  If the ELISA test is positive, then the lab will perform the western blot test.  This test will show which bands are reactive to Bb.  Basically if you are infected with Bb.  It tells specifically what you are infected with.  Here it gets complicated so I will stop there!
The ELISA test is highly insensitive - only about 60% accurate.  And remember, you have to be tested at precisely the right time in order for the test to be accurate.  So basically the stars have to all line up exactly!
In my case, the ELISA test was negative so the western blot was not performed.  Luckily, I had educated myself and was unwilling to stop there.  I demanded a western blot - yes, you CAN MAKE DEMANDS when it comes to YOUR health care!  Thank you Mom for this very important life lesson!  So the western blot is what showed that I do indeed have Lyme disease.
Again, Lyme disease requires more of a clinical diagnosis.  So a good doctor will look at your symptoms as well and not just rely on lab results.


There are also several other tests out there for Lyme disease such as the PCR and CD-57.  Normally, only a Lyme Literate Doctor will run these tests as they are familiar with understanding the results.


TREATMENT OF LYME DISEASE


After a tick bite, Bb can be found in the central nervous system within 12 hours. 12 hours!!  This is why it is so important to receive treatment immediately with antibiotics!  The longer a patient has been sick with Lyme before treatment begins, the longer the treatment will need to be, and the need for aggressive treatment increases.
If treatment begins within a few days after a tick bite, a normal course of antibiotics of about 2 weeks is generally given.
If Lyme disease goes undiagnosed for any length of time - greater than 4 weeks - a more aggressive approach is typically needed, i.e. IV antibiotics.


There is quite a controversy in the Lyme world on how Lyme Disease should be treated.  According to guidelines written by IDSA (Infectious Disease Society of America), all Lyme Disease patients should be treated with 2-4 weeks of antibiotics - no matter the duration of the disease.  So if the patient has gone undiagnosed/misdiagnosed for 10 years and suddenly receives a Lyme diagnosis, 2 weeks of antibiotics should fix them right up!  Can you imagine?!?!  Lyme is the only infectious disease that is not treated long term - per IDSA guidelines.  Syphilis, Hepatitis, Tuberculosis, HIV, MRSA....to name a few...all treated with long term antibiotics over a period of several months or even years.  Sadly, these are the treatment guidelines that most insurance companies follow.  So if a patient suffers from chronic Lyme, some insurance companies may refuse to pay for ANY antibiotics or treatment outside of this initial two week period.  Again...can you imagine?!?!  All I can surmise is that the members of this board have never had any family members or close friends contract Lyme.  Also, this board was asked to write these guidelines to be used for insurance purposes. Things that make you go hhmmmm.

On the other side of the controversy stand LLMDs (Lyme Literate Doctors) and patients who have/do suffer with Lyme disease.  Some who have gone undiagnosed for many years.  ILADS (International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society) treatment guidelines recommends treatment for symptomatic presentation - again Lyme disease is more of a clinical diagnosis.  They also recommend that treatment should not be withheld based on lab testing - in the case of false negative results, longer course of antibiotic treatment and repeat antibiotics for recurrences.

Now finding a doctor to treat you according to the ILADS guidelines is extremely difficult.  These doctors have been hauled before medical boards mostly by complaints from insurance companies - you see, they are spending THEIR money, and threatened with the loss of the medical license.  Some have been forced to close up shop, relocate, or sadly stop practicing altogether.  We need these LLMDs!  They are the ones who "get it".  They understand it, us.  They have a true passion for treating and helping the sick and suffering.  These are the real heroes of the medical world!  Without them so many would still be wondering, worrying and wounded.
In order to find a Lyme Literate Doctor you have to go underground.  You can't just google 'lyme doctor in Atlanta'.  Trust me on this one!  ;)  This is how I found a doctor.  First I watched "Under Our Skin" and decided I needed to see Dr. Jemsek.  If you watch the film, you will understand!  Anyhow, I joined 2 online Lyme support forums.  From there I had to give certain demographic information on the board to ensure I wasn't "phishing" or some undercover spy from the insurance world or medical world.  After I passed that test, someone would Private Message me a list of names in my area/state.  Then you're on your own.  Talking about these doctors in public forums is frowned upon.  We don't want to make ANY trouble for these docs!  You can't google them.  Some have websites but there won't be any information about how they treat Lyme disease.  It's like a secret world or society.  It's just crazy.  This, folks, is our health care system!  Our doctors have to secretly treat patients with Lyme Disease!



Here are some additional facts to enhance your knowledge!

• Fewer than 50% of patients with Lyme Disease recall a tick bite.
• Fewer than 50% recall any rash.
• CDC states they believe only 10-12% of Lyme Disease cases are actually reported to them - about 25,000 per year.
• Following the CDC's own under-reported criteria, almost 300,000 cases of Lyme go unreported every year!
• Of the total vector borne illnesses found in the US, Lyme Disease is by far the most prominent and it accounts for more than 95% of the vector borne cases of illness in the country.
• Lyme Disease has surpassed AIDS as one of the fastest growing infectious epidemics in our nation.
• Dr. Dietrich Klinghardt of Seattle, Washington says, "In the past 5 years there has not been a single patient with Lou Gehrig's/ALS, Multiple Sclerosis, or Parkinson's Disease that did not test positive for Lyme Disease."  In addition, ALS, MS, Parkinson's and Alzheimer's have no known cause or origin.
• There is a link between Bb - Lyme Disease - and Alzheimer's according to Dr. Alan McDonald.  He tested 10 brain samples of Alzheimer patients, and 7 out of the 10 samples contained the Bb spirochete!

Ok so the quiz will be tomorrow!  Even as I fight this long uphill battle myself, I just want to get out there and raise awareness for Lyme!!!  I want to educate people!  It breaks my heart to think that people are out there suffering for so long and all they need is one simple blood test and one good doctor.  I am hoping that after this is all said and done, and I am healthy again, that we can continue to raise funds for Lyme Disease.  I would like to keep raising awareness and do what I can to educate as many people as possible!  If you haven't watched the documentary "Under Our Skin" yet, I encourage you to do so.  It will bring all these facts and figures to life!

Thanks for your continued support!

Life is a Journey

I thought I had bronchitis.  Mom had just spent about 3 weeks in the hospital starting on Thanksgiving day.  I thought I was just over tired and had picked up a bug from the hospital.  After about 3 weeks I had this odd chest pain that wouldn't go away.  I had originally gone to a Doc-in-the-Box.  I thought well maybe I should see a "real" doctor.  So I found a family practice right up the street.  The doctor examined me and said well you really look fine to me.  I don't think you have bronchitis or the flu or any outward sign of infection.  The chest pain concerned her.  She sent me immediately to the cardiologist...that very afternoon for a work up.  She really wanted me to go to the ER.  But I have a husband and 3 children and well, just ewwww - who wants to go through that?  I didn't feel that sick.  I was just tired and felt feverish and had this chest pain.  So she agreed to let me off the hook as long as I went to the cardiologist and promised to go to the ER if things got worse.  I had a complete work up...lab work, EKG, Echocardiogram...all looked great!
So I went on home.  Later that night/early morning, I woke up with this horrible stabbing chest pain as if a knife was being driven into my chest.  I couldn't breathe.  Oh it was terrible.  Needless to say, after we got the kids off to school, and the baby settled in with my mom, Chris took me to the hospital.  In the ER they began to run all kinds of tests.  They concentrated on my chest pains.  They called in the Cardio group I had just seen.  They thought maybe I had a blood clot.  All lab tests for that kept coming back negative.  I had ultrasounds done of my entire body practically.  No clots found.  Everything looked normal.  The cardiologist decided to keep me overnight as they wanted to do a few more tests the next day.  I was dizzy, short of breath, my chest hurt all the way through to my back, I was weak.  The cardiologist planned on doing a stress test the next day.  Okkkkkk.  I was going to walk on a treadmill?!?! This should be interesting!  There was an order for no food or water after midnight I think it was...I might be off on the time.  Anyhow, I was taking some Ibuprofen for pain.  I am so sensitive to any pain medication - it really knocks me for a loop so I really didn't want anything stronger.  Well by the next morning I was in a lot of pain so I asked for some Ibuprofen.  The nurse said I was on NPO so I couldn't have any pills because I couldn't take them with water so my only option was to have something by IV.  She gave me something - I can't remember the name of it - but it was wicked strong.  Needless to say I couldn't even stand, let alone walk on a treadmill.  The cardiologist was not happy when he came in to see me. They ended up doing a nuclear stress test.  Again, everything was fine.  The doctor came back to my room to tell me the results.  He told me everything was fine.  He said it was all in my head... have I considered seeing a therapist.  For chest pain???  Uhhh no!  Chris asked to see an internist.  We were denied.  A heated argument ensued in which I told this "doctor" that it was not all in my head! I am as stubborn as they come - I am Irish after all!  That I was indeed sick and I would like to get well.  He did everything but laugh.  I think he smiled and rolled his eyes. So I was discharged without any answers.  Sigh.
In a previous blog I told you about my angel that I met in the cardiologist's office.  Her words were replaying over and over in my head...."Don't ever let anyone tell you it's all in your head"
I followed up with my GP.  I still had this incredible headache along with the chest pain, fatigue, and aches.  She was really surprised the hospital had not done more.  She sent me immediately for an MRI...that afternoon.  I like that she is so aggressive.  I felt like she was on my side.  She also referred me to a neurologist at the same time.  She was able to get me in the very next day.  I got the MRI done, had the CD in hand for the appointment the next day.  Chris and I decided to take a peek.  That decision changed our lives forever.  There it was.  Plain as day.  What is now referred to as Elizabeth Taylor.  A meningioma.  A non cancerous brain tumor.  Wow.  Well there you go.   Now we know what the problem is.  Now we are beyond scared.  But we have an answer.  Chris researched like crazy that night and was pretty sure it was a meningioma before we even saw the neurologist.  All I have to say is that angel was looking out for us when we were able to get in so quickly.  I'm not sure we could have handled days of waiting.  But I do remember calling mommy about 3am telling her I didn't think I could possibly make it until 10am.  She talked me down from my ledge thankfully! 
The next day the neurologist confirmed that the mass we saw on the MRI was indeed a Meningioma.  I'll fast forward here as I think I covered alot of this in other entries.  After we saw this doctor and a Neurosurgeon my symptoms continued and worsened.  I started having seizures, fainting, headaches 24/7, fatigue - I could sleep 16 hours a day, dizziness, memory loss, hallucinations, I would wander off, I couldn't drive anymore for fear I would have a seizure or get lost - I was a complete mess! 
The day after Christmas, Chris took me to yet another hospital ER.  He said these people are THE BEST when it comes to brain tumors. People come from around the country to be seen by them.  He thought the quickest way to them was through the ER.  He was right of course.  After explaining my symptoms to many doctors, they finally admitted me to the Neuro department.  Alas, something will be done!  Geeeeez!  I have a tumor!  Someone please take it out and make all this insanity stop!  It seems soooo simple!!!!  So I am moved upstairs.  In the morning, as the occupational therapist comes in I have a seizure.  Not far behind her a team of neurologists comes in to see me.  Now they haven't done any testing yet...no MRIs, no Cts...just listened to me and Chris to talk basically and looked at my previous MRI.  One of the neurologists sits down and says this to me...among other things...but this was the best and the only thing worth repeating..."Mrs. Simmons, are you depressed?"  I answer, "NO."  He says, "Well, you should be.  Here's a prescription for an anti depressant.  You see, we think this is all in your head.  Go see a therapist.  Sometimes depression manifests itself as seizures."
I seeeeeeeeeee.  Now tell me, you all are smart people....who do you think is the crazy one?!?!?!  Well I got the anti depressant filled just so I could prove to those crazy doctors that their magic pill wouldn't make all this go away.  And what do you know....I was right!
So after that fiasco, I just went home and suffered awhile more with all these crazy symptoms that I was sure was caused by this tumor despite what all the doctors said.  I took the darn pills.  Nothing bothered me.  :)  Again, my wonderful hubby found a great Neurosurgeon at Northside and he IS wonderful!  I went to see him and begged him to remove ET (Elizabeth Taylor).  He said no way...she doesn't need to come out.  Hhmmm...really...are you sure???  He said well I'm pretty sure!  But I do believe you are having some kind of neurological issues.  They just aren't related to the tumor.  Wait...did he just say he believed me????  OK...I'll stick with this guy!  He referred me to a new neurologist who I love!  He also took one look at me, listened to me and N-E-V-E-R once said it was all in my head OR suggested I go see a therapist.  THANK YOU GOD!  Now I have a great team!  Now just to figure out what the heck what is wrong with me.  After a couple of visits, I had the neurologist stumped.  He put me on Topomax for headaches and gradually increased the dose until it controlled my seizures.  All the while I was still having odd symptoms that would pop up, go away, and a new one would take its place.  We never knew from one day to the next how I would feel.  It was so frustrating for our entire family.  I would go a few weeks and feel alright.  And then all of a sudden I would feel like I was hit by a truck and I would sleep all day long.  I would ache from head to toe like I had the flu but without any other flu symptoms.  I would have a fever every evening for no reason.  I had a terribly stiff neck that would not go away.  My eye would all of a sudden swell up.  As I lay in bed at night I would hear music playing but only I would hear it.  My ears would ring.  My muscles would twitch.  I would smell strange scents that weren't really there - like things burning.  Just weird things that didn't seem to make sense.
One day as I was cooking dinner I had Dr. Phil on and I was half listening.  All of a sudden I heard a lady say she had this stabbing chest pain that her doctor couldn't exlain.  I stopped to listen.  Turns out she had Lyme disease.  She also had some of the same symptoms I had.  Dizzy spells, headaches, aches and pains.  I told Chris about it.  He listened.  We researched it.  A few weeks later we called my neurologist and asked him if he would order a Lyme test.  He didn't ask why...he just ordered it.  Yea!  I went to the lab.  After 2 days the results came back!  Drum roll please......yep you guessed it...negative.  Hhmmmm....well we could have sworn we were right!  So we went back to the drawing board.  After more research we determined that based on my symptoms I was probably infected about a year ago.  The longer you are infected, the more it affects your body systems.  When a doctor tests you for Lyme disease, they start with a very basic test called the ELISA test.  If this test is negative, the testing stops there.  But this test is not very sensitive. In fact it's wrong alot of the time (I won't get into all the statistics here)...especially if it's not a recent bite.  If your test is positive, then they do another test automatically - the Western Blot which tells you specifically what bacteria you're infected with.  Well after learning this we again asked the neurologist if he would order the Western Blot test and a couple other tests.  He again agreed.  After a looonnggg wait...over the weekend we finally got the results.  Funny thing, the neurologist said he couldn't read the results since he was not familiar with Lyme testing.  I said fax them to me!  I can do it!!!!!  So he did!  As soon as I saw the results I cried!  It was positive!  I had Lyme Disease!  We had finally found the answer!  Chris and I did it!  IT WAS NOT ALL IN MY HEAD!  I DON'T NEED A THERAPIST! (well maybe sometimes - her name is mommy)
Then reality sunk in.  Wow...Lyme Disease!  This is gonna be tough!  But at least we know!  But if we had just known 6 months ago!  Oh how much easier this road would have been!  At that moment so many emotions ran through me.  I wanted to see each one of those doctors and slap them!  I wanted to tell their mother's on them!  What could have been cured with 2 weeks of antibiotics will know take months...possibly years to cure.  Some of my neurological symptoms may be irreversible.  But at least we have an answer. 
And now here we are.  At the beginning of yet another journey.  Not knowing what this one holds.  But I have faith that everything will be alright.  I still have that angel sitting with me.  I feel like I have come full circle with her.  I had faith.  I listened.  Everytime I wanted to give up, give in.  I listened.  She was right.  Don't EVER let anyone tell you it's all in your head.  I knew something was wrong and no doctor - no matter how good - could tell me otherwise.  Faith is a wonderful thing!

There IS Something Wrong With Me!

I have an amazing family!  For the past 6 months, my husband has chauffered me to doctor appointment after doctor appointment without one complaint.  He repeated all my symptoms to each one of these doctors as I sat there many times incapable of remembering what day it was let alone what the heck happened the day before!  As we took our tour of doctors, some of the best in the country because Chris insisted on the best healthcare for me :)  , time and time again we were told that there was nothing wrong with me...tests were all negative.  I kept insisting that something was INDEED wrong.  No matter how many doctors told us differently, my husband always stood by my side.  He has been my rock, my soft place to land, my brain, my caretaker, my chef, my chauffeur, my nurse....oh how the list goes on.  He is my number one fan!  I am truly blessed to be married to such a wonderful man!
As we continue this long battle, he is fine tuning his nursing skills.  He may have found his new calling!  He gives me my medication each morning through my PICC line.  I hate it.  I am sad to report that I am not his best patient.  I don't know why.  I think I we just don't know what to expect with the treatment.  The doctor can't really tell us what will happen over the next 2 months.  We just have to play it by ear every day.  Well I'm a planner and that doesn't work for me!  All we really know is that the road will get much rougher before it gets smoother.  So I just have to continue to think positive and hope for the best.
On a brighter note....here's a good story!  The home health care nurse came out to the house for the first time yesterday.  She called me, asked me if I was going to come to the door.  What???  Ummm...ya!  She said well she's been knocking, and ringing the bell and noone answered.  She said she's at 1580 and our address is 1590 so I step outside thinking she is just next door.  Then she tells me what street she is on.  Turns out she is across town at my mom's house!  What the heck?!?!  I give her directions to OUR house.  Chris calls the home health care company to see what's going on.  They tell him that's the address my doctor gave them.  Well that is just crazy!  I call my doctor and ask them what address they have for me.  Turns out when I went in the other day, I put my mom's address down as my home address.  And this, folks, is why CHRIS is in charge!  Hahaha  I don't really notice how bad my brain is...they call it Lyme Brain...until I go out.  Clearly I don't get out much!  Being at home, in my safe place, I don't have to deal with many of these issues.  I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing!  Anyhow, too bad my mom wasn't home, she would have enjoyed meeting my nurse.  She would have invited her in for a cup of tea and a chat!
And then there's my mommy!  Today is her birthday!  She is a beautiful 39 year young lady!  :)  She is my best friend!  I think she's Chrissy's best friend too!  She is amazing!  She takes care of my babies when I can't.  I think they like that better anyhow...especially Connor!  He bribes her to stay all the time!  All he has to say is "I love you Mimi".  She's so easy!  Last weekend while Chris was at work, I woke up in the middle of the night terribly sick.  Brayden of course chose that night to be wide awake...of all nights!  I called my mom about 3am and she came right over.  She took care of me, got me settled in and stayed up the rest of the night/morning with my sleepless child.  She is just the bestest!  She will do anything for us...all we have to do is ask.  I love her!

I would like to tell my complete journey over the last 6 months now that we have actually put all the pieces of this giant puzzle together.  I will have to save that for another day.  A fundraiser has been started to help with the mounting medical costs.  I am so grateful for people's generosity!  Chris also started a Facebook group.  We will try to post some things about Lyme disease there too.  Until now, this is a disease that Chris and I knew nothing about.  Knowing what we do now, we want to shout it from the rooftops!  If you have time I would encourage you to go to the links below!

This is the link to the Fundraiser Page...
http://www.giveforward.com/helpjenfightlymedisease

This is the link to the Facebook Group Page for us...
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/groups/274086509356429/

This is a link to the documentary "Under Our Skin" about Lyme Disease.  It's a real eye opener!  It's on hulu.com and free to watch.
http://www.hulu.com/search?query=Under+Our+Skin&st=0&fs=null

This is a link with lots of great info on Lyme disease.
www.ilads.org

Thanks again for listening!

Tic Toc

Welcome back!  I'm not sure if that's for me or for you.  It's been awhile since I've felt like writing.  Maybe it was the frustration.  Maybe it was the anger.  Maybe it was the denial.  It was probably alot of things.  Well you haven't missed much. 
Most importantly my precious baby boy Brayden turned 1!  I can't believe it!  He is a wild man and all boy!  So much fun but he wears us out!  Kaitlin and Connor are wonderful.  They are looking forward to summer vacation.  So are mom and dad!
As far as my health goes, I have been slowly getting worse I would say.  I had another MRI done in March.  The Neurosurgeon said there has not been any change in the tumor.  Hhmmm...ookkkkkk.  Now I have said before that I feel like I have found a good team of doctors, so I have faith that they are giving me the best medical advice.  But I am still having tons of these terrible symptoms that now my Neurosurgeon and Neurologist believe are not related to the tumor.  Well SOMETHING is terribly wrong!  I know enough about me that I know that something is just not right within me.  I keep having weird things happen to me.  They come and go and come and go.  It was just odd.  I would be here for hours if I had to list all the symptoms.  I will hit some of the ones that I think would make anyone go hhmmm.


~ stabbing chest pain (received a clean bill of health after MANY tests by my Cardiologist)
~ seizures and night tremors
~ sudden drops in my blood pressure which would result in passing out
~ memory loss
~ getting lost
~ weird whooshing feeling in my head
~ hearing odd sounds like music which no one else did - ya that could have landed me somewhere really interesting!
~ poison ivy like rashes
~ swollen eye for no apparent reason
~ low grade fevers most afternoons/evenings
~ chronic fatigue - I can sleep 16 hours a day!
~ tingling fingers and toes
~ stiff neck and back pain
~ 24/7 headache


As I said, I could go on and on with various other things.  This is a VERY short list.  I have been determined to find some answers or some medication that would help me.  I just refuse to live my life like this.  I don't want my children growing up with a sick mom.  I don't want to miss anything in their lives and I'm missing things!!!  So I have been researching. Chris has been researching.  Then one day I was cooking dinner and Dr. Phil was on.  Now when I relayed this story to my Neurologist on Friday I'm pretty sure he rolled his eyes the moment I said Dr. Phil!  Anyhow, he was doing a show on chronic illnesses.  I was only half listening.  All of a sudden I heard someone say they had this horrible stabbing chest pain that had been unexplained.  That caught my attention!  I listened as she continued to list many symptoms similar to mine.  Hhmmm...Chris and I were listening intently.  Turns out she has Lyme Disease.  I think that has to be one of the few diseases I had not been tested for.  We started researching and learning everything we could about Lyme disease.  The more we found out, the more the puzzle pieces seemed to fit.  We decided that I should be tested.  Chris called the Neurologist and asked if he would just order some Lyme testing.  Luckily he did.  Turns out the test was positive!  I think that I got bit by a tick about a year ago.  I've had it for awhile and that's why the symptoms have progressed as much as they have.  If left untreated, Lyme disease can create havoc in your body - jumping from one system to the next, including the brain.   So that's what we are dealing with now.  Lyme disease treatment is highly controversal.  Nothing is ever easy!  I will see an Infectious Disease doctor on Tuesday.  I have LOTS more to say on this subject!  Well on the subject of Lyme disease and the enormous difficulty in getting treated.  I will save that for my next entry.  In the meantime, I would encourage people to watch the documentary "Under Our Skin".  You can watch it free on hulu.com.  It will really open your eyes - not just to Lyme but to the medical crisis in our country.


Thanks for listening!

Did You Know the Human Head Weighs 8 Pounds?

Good Evening!  As we sit here tonight, I think that we are trying to recapture our youth.  Chris is playing some superhero video game on Playstation and I'm playing Castleville on Facebook (BTW anyone wanna be my neighbor?).  Chris pulls out his glasses to see the little buttons on the game controller and I put on my glasses so I can see what in the heck all the noise is coming from on the TV!  Ahhh yes...middle age is interesting! 

So yesterday I had my first sitter!  Ooohh ahhhh!  Actually it went very well.  She was someone Chris works with at Northside Hospital - Robin.  She's awesome!  Super sweet and Brayden took to her right away! And the best part - she loves junk TV too!!! Hopefully she will come back again.  Chris was able to run some errands and get some projects done around the house.  It was really nice to have someone here to visit with for awhile.  I think it did wonders for our mindsets too.  We ended up staying up waaayyy too late just hanging out, watching TV and looking at our computers.  For all you ladies out there...well guys too...have you checked out this site Pinterest???  Oh. My. Goodness. ! ! !  I spent an hour on Facebook, then figured what the heck, I'll head on over to Pinterest and make it an evening!  I love it!  I found THE coolest little candy craft to make for Connor's class for Valentine's Day!  I couldn't wait to show him today!  He got just as excited as me!!  Love it!  If you go on there and follow me, you can see it too.  Bad news about staying up too late, poor Chrissy finally succumbed to whatever crud he was trying so hard to fight off.  He went to the doctor today.  He has bronchitis.  Poor guy.  Brayden went for his 9 month check up.  He's doing great except for the sty in his eye.  Poor guy.  Kaitlin just came out and said she doesn't feel well.  Luckily she already has a doctor appointment scheduled for tomorrow.  Connor is the only well one....for now!  So we need a nanny, chauffeur, sitter, chef, nurse and personal shopper.  Not necessarily in that order!

Next week is back to the doctor for me.  Boooooo!  Monday and Friday - Radiology Oncologist and Neurologist.  Not sure which day is which.  I just go where I'm told, when I'm told!  I still have not done much research on the Gamma Knife.  I think that subconsciously maybe I just don't want to know???  Because usually I'm the first one to want to learn all I can about a drug or procedure or medical issue.  So this is very atypical of me.  But I suppose I better get on the ball so that I can have all my questions prepared for these new doctors.    On a positive note, I think the new anti-seizure medication I am on is helping with my headaches.  They are not nearly as intense as they have been.  The medicine makes me drowsy and kind of foggy though.  I don't like that but what do you do.  I'm still having seizures.  I don't think it's as bad but to those around me, just one is awful.  Hopefully they will continue to decline and disappear altogether!  Although it is cutting down on all the crazy things I do.  Wait...I just remembered...Chris says I have been very vocal in my sleep.  Have I mentioned this before??  I could go back and read previous blogs,but, well, I'm here now soooo....apparently I am spouting off alot of pertinent worldly facts.  Did you know that camels wander the African deserts???  I know....add that to your plethora of knowledge!  Chris says they don't, but has he ever been there?!?!  I think not!!  Also, somewhere Eskimos use milk jugs to freeze ice to make blocks for their igloos.  Again, very plausible.  1000 people were traveling on a bus.  This might be a little iffy...just a little.  Now for this one I blame David Brugger.  Don't hide your face in shame!  It was from your Facebook post I think.  My brain is just working in strange and wondrous ways now!  I could go on and on and on about all these new facts I have but I digress.

So I know I said the main reason I started this blog was mainly for selfish and familial reasons, but I noticed today when I was looking at the traffic statistics that people from as far away as Germany have read this blog!  How cool is that!  Not so cool for ME, but cool that people that don't even know me now know a little bit more about brain tumors!  I love it!!!!!!!  Then on top of that super cool realization, in the mail today I received tons of get well cards!  It made me sooo warm and fuzzy inside!  Knowing that people, some I have never met personally, are praying for me is simply amazing!  There really IS good in this world!  Not only have they taken time out of their busy lives to pray for me and my family, they have stopped to buy a card, write some encouraging words and scriptures, spend some serious dough on a stamp, find my mailing address, and slip it in the mail.  Truly amazing people! AND in this batch of wonderful cards was one from Linda Sallee.  Now I hate to just pick one out because they were all awesome and so appreciated but this one was soooo a God thing.  Well there were 2 actually.  Linda's - on the front was a huge sunflower.  My absolute favorite flower....always makes me smile!  And another one from Janie Bryant with a Bluebird on the front....my very favorite bird!  I am constantly bribing these little ones to come play and stay in my yard!  I love all my little birdies! I am extremely grateful for all, everyone's support, thoughts, prayers.  If you are not a praying person, then please, just hum along!

God is the reason why even in pain I smile; in confusion, I understand; in betrayal, I trust; and in fear, I continue to fight!

The Dingo Ate Your Baby!

Good Evening!  It's just another manic monday.  No wait...it's Tuesday I do believe!  I have some exciting news!  Wait for it....wait for it....I will have my very first sitter tomorrow!  Yippee!!!!  Well not THE very first.  It's been about, let's see, umm, 35 years or so.  I wonder if she will let me have ice cream and stay up late?!?!  Can you tell I'm excited???  No offense Robin.  I'm sure we will have a great time.  It's just the frustration that I have to have a sitter.  Sigh.  Oh well.  I will just make the best of it.  I wonder if she does dishes???  I better stop in case she reads this blog!
Soooo Chrissy said I will have to wear the new shirt he made me everyday in case I slip away.  That's gonna make for a lot of laundry!  The good news is I have been a good girl and stayed inside lately.  I will tell you what started all this fear of me wandering off.  Now remember, I DO have a brain tumor.  Strange things are a'happenin in my head!  Last week, I don't know what night, everyone was here and in bed.  It was about 1am - I was told.  I got up to go potty.  I could have sworn I heard a baby crying.  Before you say it, no it was NOT Brayden!  So being a mother I figured I better go check this out.  I threw on my sweater and my shoes and proceeded to walk the streets of our subdivision looking and listening for that darn baby.  The next day was garbage day so all the trash cans were at the curb.  Lots of places for a crying baby to hide.  I watch a lot of Nancy Grace ok?!?!  Needless to say, I did not find a baby. Which I suppose is a good thing really.  However, being dark outside I got all turned around and disoriented.  Luckily Chris woke up and came looking for me.  I was close enough to home to hear him calling from the house.  So not a big deal but it could have been I suppose.  Never a dull moment around here!  Thus the t shirt!!!
Now look, the main reason I started this blog was for a place to vent, to share some thoughts, and to keep lots of people updated about medical stuff.  I never wanted this to be a pity party.  All my life, I have handled most things with humor.  Laughter is the best medicine I do believe!  Now I'm not saying life doesn't suck sometimes.  Things sure are stressful right now and very odd in many ways.  We are experiencing things we have never experienced.  Makes things interesting.  The good thing is, most of the time we can laugh at all the silly things I do and say.  I like that we can do that!  I like that we can laugh instead of just cry when I can't follow a simple stupid direction after passing out.  I just hope it stays like this and we can all keep it together...just for a little while longer.

Hey, BTW, has anyone come across a cheap outlet for those rubber bracelets???  I'm still looking but there are soooo many sites!! TIA!!

Tired of Waiting

So today was another trip to another neurosurgeon.  Woo hoo.  Annndddd one more day of frustration!  I just want to scream sometimes!  But I guess that's why I started this blog...so I can yell into cyberspace!  I shouldn't be too frustrated though.  Chris put alot of time and effort into finding the best guy around.  He did a great job!  I just have another conflicting opinion, although I think I am going to stick with this guy.  Just something about him.  I think when you're a mother you learn to trust your gut instinct and to work off first impressions.  The good news is Doc says the best route of removal for Liz is Gamma Knife Surgery.  I can go with that!  No removing my skull?!?!  OK!  For those that don't know, it's basically radiation.  The goal is to shrink the tumor down to almost nothing.  He thinks this will be the best route since the tumor is very near the sagittal sinus which is the main blood source for the brain.  Of course, no one wants to mess with that big boy!  He said if he were to go in and remove it that there would most likely be some cells left anyways because it is so close to that sinus.  So we might as well just use the gamma knife and eliminate the invasive surgery.  Sounds good to me!  They would still use the halo during the surgery so there would still be some owies but much less pain.  Now the bad news is he wants to wait....sigh.  He wants to do another MRI in March and see what the growth is.  AAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  I can't take it!!!!!!!  I just want it out!  Make no mistake...I did tell the doctor that!!!  He said, "patience."  So we wait.  I wouldn't mind the wait so much if I weren't having all these crazy symptoms!  I'm soooo tired alllll the time.  I have a constant headache, chest pain, dizziness, occasional fainting, seizures.  Oh yeah, and some crazy confusion that hits me out of the blue. After it happens it is always quite humorous because everything has always turned out alright in the end.  Scary at the time....well for those around me.  I seem to always be having a good time!  Hahahaha  I will start filling you in on all these crazy moments so you can laugh along with, well, ME at least!  The children now have strict orders to only ask Chris for permission for things.  I guess they had fun while it lasted!  One night Connor had fresh baked cookies and cheese dip for dinner. Why?  Cause he asked me!  And I said well why not???  Worst part right now is I can't be alone.  Makes me feel sooo good about myself!!!  So anyone who has nothing to do on the weekends while Chris is at work, feel free to come on by and babysit.  We are currently recruiting! Little experience required.  Must be able to watch junk TV while eating junk food.  Must be able to laugh at a very silly baby boy while rolling your eyes at a sometimes annoying, although pretty, teenager.  Piece of cake!  Literally...there will probably be cake around too!  So all in all it was a pretty good day.  I'm still hangin in there!  I posted a new picture of something my darling husband made for me.  It's on the 2nd page of this blog and on Facebook.  A nice gift...in case I wander off again.  Thoughtful guy!  Alright....thanks for playing.  Prayers welcome!

In the Beginning....

Ok well I thought I would try to start from the beginning.  First of all, thank you very much to all of you that have reached out to me and Chris with your kind words and prayers.  I realize it has taken awhile for us to let you all in on this news.  We just had to get used to it ourselves!  And also make sure we were all in a good place.  I think we are.  Time will tell I suppose.  I started the story in the last post.  This will be lengthy...just so you know.  I will begin from the visit to the cardiologist because in there is an interesting story.  Let me say this to those that don't know me at all, or not well....I was blessed to be raised by a wonderful Christian mother with an exceptional sense of humor.  This will explain a lot!  I was waiting my turn in the Cardiologist's office.  Now this waiting room is huge.  Doctor is part of St. Joseph's.  There are about 100 seats and only about 20 people waiting.  I take a seat at the very end of a row.  An older lady sits down right beside me...there are a dozen empty seats around me.  Really?!?!  She strikes up a conversation.  I don't feel good.  I don't want to talk.  She is surprised I am there because I am so young.  Ok, ok, I'll talk to her if she's going to compliment me....geeeeeez!  She asks why I'm there.  I tell her briefly about my chest pain and dizziness and that my PCP thought possibly there could be a heart issue.  I also mentioned that I was taken a bit off guard as I had just gone in to see her an hour ago for what I thought was bronchitis and here I was waiting for a heart ultrasound.  A bit scary.  She told me a little bit about herself and a scary situation she had been in.  Long story short....she gave me a bit of advice that I have followed with all my heart since that day...."You know yourself, your body, better than anyone.  Don't ever let anyone - even a doctor - tell you that it is all in your head."  Wow!  I had NO idea at the time how much I would end up needing that advice!  I sure wish I could find her again!  I was called back then.  Of course, when I was finished, she was gone.  Oh yeah, did I mention that she was dressed all in white - from head to toe?????  Yep....that's what I think too!!!!  When you hear what happened after my stay at Gwinnett Medical Center, you too will believe!  When I mentioned this to my mom, she said well you know it does say in the Bible that you should be kind to everyone because Angels do walk amongst us and you never know when you might be entertaining one.  (Hebrews 13:1-2.  Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.)  Hhhmmm....interesting stuff, huh?!  After this visit to the doc, I still felt like doo doo - yes that is a very technical medical term!  Remember, I thought maybe I had pneumonia.  For those of you that know my mommy, Karen Gobely, she had just spent 2 weeks in the hospital with pneumonia and I was sure I had caught something crummy.  My doc said she was very worried about my intense chest pain and if it worsened at all to go to the ER immediately.  Well I had a rough night.  I woke up several times short of breath with horrible stabbing chest pains - sure I was having a heart attack.  I think this was when I started passing out as well and when my confusion began. I have had alot of short term memory loss so some details are still fuzzy.  After a call to my PCP, she recommended a trip to the ER.  After a long talk with Chris, I finally relented.  Funny how when you mention you are having chest pain in the ER how quickly you get pushed through!  I won't bore you with all the details, but Gwinnett Medical Center did what must have been hundreds of blood tests, ultrasounds looking for blood clots, chest CT and xrays.  GMC called in the Cardiologist I had just seen.  They said all my tests were negative.  They weren't sure what was wrong.  Chris had to urge them to even perform the CT. At the end of the day, the Cardiologist refused to call in any other doctors or specialists.  He determined that there was nothing wrong with me.  His ONLY recommendation....a psych consult....you see, "it was all in my head".  WOW - how right he was....he just had no idea!!  I told him HE needed the psych consult!!  That there was something  wrong with me!  He said nope....see ya!  I promptly went back to my PCP who luckily has a brain in her head...well I don't have actual pictures of hers like I do of mine...I'm just assuming....hahaha!    I explained to her what had happened at the hospital.  She was a bit in disbelief.  I told her something was very wrong with me.  Maybe I should have mentioned this sooner....up to this point in my life, I have been very healthy....just normal aches and pains from becoming 40...and having 3 children....and a husband! Again, being aggressive, she sent me immediately for an MRI and set up a neurology appointment.  I wonder....was it the doctor...or the difference in the genders????  SHE actually listened to me from day one when I told her something was wrong with me.  She could have so easily written me a prescription for antibiotics and gotten me out of her office.  I thank God she didn't.  Remember the lady in white from the Cardiologist's office???? Uh huh...I listened God!  I kept  talking until someone listened!  It took a few people and several doctors but it finally worked. 
The next day, we went to the neurologist who let us know the devastating news that would change our lives forever.  He doesn't have any bedside manner, but seems to know what he's doing.  Now we went into this appointment only THINKING the worst....thinking that we had seen a tumor on the MRI.  The doctor confirmed our worst fear.  My only question was, "Am I going to die?"  I have 3 children...and a husband...so that was really my only concern.  I can get through anything else.  His answer...."Do you know Elizabeth Taylor?"  Me - "Of course."  Dr. No Personality - "She had a meningioma but that is not what she died from."  Me - "siiigghhhhhh".  (Chelsea Laurent- I learned that from you!)  So the good news is that judging from the MRI scan, the tumor looks like a solid mass which leads the neurologist and the neurosurgeon to believe it is a meningioma tumor.  95% of meningioma tumors are benign.  So if you have to have a brain tumor, this is the BEST kind of brain tumor to have.  Wait...did I really just say that?????  God does have a sense of humor!  So interestingly enough, I came home from the neurologist, well, happy and praising God!  Why?!  Well, I had a good brain tumor!  It's a strange and wonderful world!  Sooooo from that point forward, my tumor was named Elizabeth Taylor....ET for short.  This explains the name...well the domain name of this blog.  I told Kaitlin that I wanted to get those rubber bracelets....gray in support of brain cancer...with purple writing saying "SAVE JEN'S BRAIN".  LOL  And maybe "STOP ET" on the backside - only if it's cost effective!  Anyone know of a good but cheap outlet for those bracelets??
I think that pretty much does it for all the boring medical stuff.  Most everything else that is happening now is fun, crazy stuff!  My daughter especially enjoyed my memory loss during the week of Christmas.  She was constantly telling me that it was Christmas day just so she could open a present.  Don't worry...one day she will have children of her own.  And I will laugh...and laugh...and laugh!  Payback's a...well it's just funny!  Chris, my adoring husband, poor guy, well at least I still remember who he is!  I actually packed his lunch for him this weekend...well one day.  Apparently he was quite scared to open it!  lol  Everyone at work gathered around quite excitedly awaiting the grand opening. Ahhh how disappointed they were to find out I had a very good day and had simply made my honey chicken salad.  Sorry RTs!  I will try harder next week! 
Well thanks for listening.  Please keep my family in your prayers. 

Hello World!

Check.  Check.  Is this thing on????  Hello World!  Welcome to my life as I know it!  My life has become, well, interesting lately to say the least.  I have decided to start blogging for my own sanity...and my family's!  And also to keep all those interested up to date.  The past month has been a whirlwind and a life changing experience.  There is so much information that I really don't know where to begin.  I think I will just start from today and move forward.  In the next few blogs, I will update and also add to the back story.  Otherwise, I would be here typing for a week straight!  Soooo here goes!!!

Let's see....where to start....here's a short synopsis....well everything began back in mid December when I thought I had bronchitis or maybe even (gasp) pneumonia!  I went to see my PCP who did an exam and said, "Hhmmm, nope, you look good to me.  With the chest pain, let's get you to the Cardiologist."  Ewwww....well after a clean bill of health from him, back to my PCP.  Told her that something is wrong...I just don't feel right.  My main symptoms were chest pain, dizziness, fatigue and now some confusion.  She sent me for an MRI that day and set up an appointment with a neurologist for the very next day.  I liked that fact she was so aggressive, although I would have much preferred a prescription for an antibiotic for bronchitis!  Anyways, that afternoon after the MRI, the imaging center gave us a copy to take to the neurologist the next day.  Chris and I thought it would be cool to look at 280 images of my brain....plus there was indeed proof I had one!  So there...you sceptics!!  As we were flipping through all those images, one click changed things forever.  We both knew in an instant what we were looking at.  That lump doesn't belong there!  Thank God we had an appointment the next morning with the neurologist!  That night was one of the worst of our lives.  Chris googled like crazy.  He decided I had a meningioma.  What a smart man I married!  He was correct!  I was still devastated when I heard the doctor speak those words out loud.  A brain tumor.  A brain tumor?!  How did I get from bronchitis to a brain tumor???  Lord, I can't do this!

Fast forward many headaches and seizures later....tomorrow, Monday, I have an appointment with a Neurosurgeon at Northside.  This will be a third opinion technically.  But we have decided to use a neurosurgeon at Northside Hospital since Chris works there.  In the meantime, I am on a new medication for headaches and seizures - Topamax.  Hopefully this will help and kick in soon.  I have also found a great source of support online...meningiomamommas.com.  Not that my family isn't supportive, it's just helpful to talk to people who are going through the same thing and just 'get it'.  My family does the best they can.  They all do a wonderful job of taking care of me.  I just hate that they have to!  I want to take care of THEM!  This sucks!  But as my mother says...this too shall pass....what a wise woman!