Tired of Waiting

So today was another trip to another neurosurgeon.  Woo hoo.  Annndddd one more day of frustration!  I just want to scream sometimes!  But I guess that's why I started this blog...so I can yell into cyberspace!  I shouldn't be too frustrated though.  Chris put alot of time and effort into finding the best guy around.  He did a great job!  I just have another conflicting opinion, although I think I am going to stick with this guy.  Just something about him.  I think when you're a mother you learn to trust your gut instinct and to work off first impressions.  The good news is Doc says the best route of removal for Liz is Gamma Knife Surgery.  I can go with that!  No removing my skull?!?!  OK!  For those that don't know, it's basically radiation.  The goal is to shrink the tumor down to almost nothing.  He thinks this will be the best route since the tumor is very near the sagittal sinus which is the main blood source for the brain.  Of course, no one wants to mess with that big boy!  He said if he were to go in and remove it that there would most likely be some cells left anyways because it is so close to that sinus.  So we might as well just use the gamma knife and eliminate the invasive surgery.  Sounds good to me!  They would still use the halo during the surgery so there would still be some owies but much less pain.  Now the bad news is he wants to wait....sigh.  He wants to do another MRI in March and see what the growth is.  AAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  I can't take it!!!!!!!  I just want it out!  Make no mistake...I did tell the doctor that!!!  He said, "patience."  So we wait.  I wouldn't mind the wait so much if I weren't having all these crazy symptoms!  I'm soooo tired alllll the time.  I have a constant headache, chest pain, dizziness, occasional fainting, seizures.  Oh yeah, and some crazy confusion that hits me out of the blue. After it happens it is always quite humorous because everything has always turned out alright in the end.  Scary at the time....well for those around me.  I seem to always be having a good time!  Hahahaha  I will start filling you in on all these crazy moments so you can laugh along with, well, ME at least!  The children now have strict orders to only ask Chris for permission for things.  I guess they had fun while it lasted!  One night Connor had fresh baked cookies and cheese dip for dinner. Why?  Cause he asked me!  And I said well why not???  Worst part right now is I can't be alone.  Makes me feel sooo good about myself!!!  So anyone who has nothing to do on the weekends while Chris is at work, feel free to come on by and babysit.  We are currently recruiting! Little experience required.  Must be able to watch junk TV while eating junk food.  Must be able to laugh at a very silly baby boy while rolling your eyes at a sometimes annoying, although pretty, teenager.  Piece of cake!  Literally...there will probably be cake around too!  So all in all it was a pretty good day.  I'm still hangin in there!  I posted a new picture of something my darling husband made for me.  It's on the 2nd page of this blog and on Facebook.  A nice gift...in case I wander off again.  Thoughtful guy!  Alright....thanks for playing.  Prayers welcome!